Life - A Clinical Approach

Have you observed that picking at a scab on wounds on our skin is the worst way to handle it as it'll leave a mark on your skin forever?

Instead, if you let it heal on its natural pace, the body will naturally work on it.  Gradually, it'll wear off part by part and one day, it'll have healed fully and be back as plain normal skin. This is quite similar to the wounds that we have in life as a whole. So, how should that be dealt with? Let's try to look at it in clinical terms.

Let's take the steps to tend to the wounds in life like a wound or scratch on our body. 

Always keep your cut, scrape or other injuries clean. Gently wash the mind with a mild understanding of reality and a mixed dose of "I can figure this out" and "One single thing doesn't define me. I'm defined by the way I treat myself and the way I treat other people." to keep out malicious thoughts and remove negative charges.

Instructions: 

To help the injured heart, mind or soul heal, use a diary/journal to understand the wound in detail and correctly by actually writing it down or at least typing it out in a noting app on your phone. This journalling prevents the wound from becoming a mere incident in the past, form a scab, lay in there as an unresolved issue only to turn into a trigger later on in the future; wounds with scabs take longer to heal. This will also help prevent a scar from getting too large, deep or itchy due to overthinking.  It must be noted that even in case of need for external diagnosis of issues, the diagnoser must be a highly evolved person who is beyond the petty baits and games of life and hence can paint a much realistic, long-term big picture of your wound that'll help you zoom in and find the hurt tissues. Seeking help from a professional therapist will be time-saving if you can afford it.

After cleaning the wound by with a progressive perspective and journalling or some external guidance, cover the wound with an adhesive bandage of self-understanding, self-analysis and self-love. For large scrapes, burns or persistent pain, it may be helpful to use the love, support and true good wishes from those who actually mean a lot and can help you.

If you feel there's no 'close' person in your life, approach the caring teacher at your school, the kind and helpful colleague at the next cubicle, the friendly elderly person next doors or anyone who gives you've always felt as kind.

Update your analysis daily as you understand yourself better and keep the wound clean from extreme negativity while it heals. If you have skin that is sensitive to advise or opinions of the people you sought help from, try to stick to a calm listener than an advisor pricking only your faults. If you used an external help initially to understand the situation, follow the practical instructions on microsteps for changing slate of your life, one thing at a time.

If you needed professional help, then continue it till the time you get completely alright without that. This may help minimize the appearance of a scar on your life.

Apply sunscreen-like protection to the wound after it has healed as reserving the issue to yourself or your close circle is in a way helpful to yourself as you're extending the chances of getting triggered while it's still healing.

If you have minor cuts or scrapes, you can help reduce the appearance of a scar by properly treating the injury at home. However, if your injury is deep, very painful or if your life becomes extremely affected, seek immediate professional care. Such a burn can turn into a serious injury without proper treatment.

Although no scar can be completely eliminated, most scars fade over time. If you’re worried about the appearance of a scar, google Kintsukuroi ( Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold with makes pots even more beautiful and precious) and wabi sabi (worldview centred on the acceptance of transience and imperfection) right away. Seriously, go.

So, basically and most importantly, one has to feel the pain, sorrow, anger, fear or whatever that is to the fullest. It's only when we allow ourselves to face it, let it hit us hard and break us apart that we can actually see the hidden treasure there and build an ever stronger self. Friedrich Nietzsche said that upon the people he loves the most, he wishes self-loathing, failure, and self-contempt because it'll answer the only question that matters - 'can they endure? '. 

The underrated and unsaid factor here is the time limit - you can cry your heart out, feel miserable, be messed up, cut off from everything else until that particular hour of the day or that particular day of the week or that particular week of the month you choose and call it. That's it. That should be it. It is this discipline to get you out of the couch or bed and hit the road on the deadline that you had set for your own good, even if you don't feel like it, that's what's going to make all the difference.

Remember that self-discipline is self-love and self-respect in action. You love yourself too much to let you crash your life just because of a single person, project, subject, thing or incident. As long as the wound is understood clearly, felt to the core, expressed fully and then tended to regularly with care, love and discipline, it is not necessary to use external analysis. That's where self-confidence blooms - having gone through that rabbit hole and have come out of it better than before. We might have to go through it several times in life. It's understanding that it's just a redirection and playing along is the challenging fun and beauty of life.

It is through such instances that you become the person you are right now - you are the oldest you've ever been, you are the smartest you've ever been because you're the most experienced you've ever been, you've been the most broken in some ways you've ever been, you're probably the most powerful you've ever been because you've been through the hardest times you've been in. And, that's how you'll become the person you will become.

No matter what happens, you'll always have a choice to decide how you respond. And, believe that life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you. You can either believe that the world is coming at you or that the world is helping you. Which one of these do you want to believe is also you're choice. Choose wisely because when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

And remember, that you're defined by the way you treat yourself and the way you treat other people. So, be kind. Always.

Life is "wonder"ful. Cheers!