Before you "Marry off" your Son or Daughter
This is to every parent who wants to marry their daughter off, say, by an age of 25, because astrology predicts the apt time for her marriage is in that particular time frame or the protocol of the ideal Indian society says so.
Before you choose to fully oblige to the "science" or your beliefs in astrology and giving into the social conditioning that you have you marry off your daughter before the societal alarm goes off bombing questions to your face, ask your daughter what she wants, what she needs and what's the life she dreams of.
You have to admit that the times have changed. When everything else has changed from the facilities or even luxuries in your life, why can't this social taboo be changed as well.
Let's get this clear for once and for all.
At all times: then as well as now:
Not every woman or man wanted/wants to get married.
Not every woman wanted/wants to be a mother.
Not every man wanted/wants to be a father.
There could be many who want all that and that's fine.
But, there are many who don't want all that and that should be fine as well.
Instead of pushing your kids into a marriage they don't want, or to bring to the world a child they never wanted and then making that tender life as well as the parents, who never wanted to be parents in the first place, battle each day with no satisfaction and even break down or break apart, which ain't stigma-free either in the society you create and live in.
You're choosing to send your child into war they didn't sign up for.
If you want them to crush their lives and their dreams just because the society, including you, wanted them to fit into the so called cultural constructs and not stand out as different, you can try to ruin the lives of tender one you had once brought to this world promising a happy life ahead.
And if the wisdom passed on to you from the people who lead a "successful" life or your own experience implies that you must force your children to such insane levels, then by all means you're nothing but cruel for turning a blind eye to your child's needs.
Don't force anyone to live a life they don't want.
You are their parents who'd have decided so many things for your children when they were young. But, when the world opens up to them for them to explore and gain experience from, they sure will. And, they'll start taking decisions based on their experiences as well. It's their life. They'll be ever grateful to you for all that you did for them as a parent and they'd take care of you too. But, you must understand that it's not the sole purpose of your childrens' life to obey you. Nor is it your job to sit and decide everything for them. They're here to grow and gradually they'll have their own opinions, passions, purpose and ambitions to work for. Let them decide what they want to do in their life and do it as and when they really want to do it and are ready for it. And, if marriage isn't one of them, understand that it's their choice. Respect, or at least try to understand the individual that your child has grown up into. Understand that there no one right way to live.
Understand that true love is not holding your loved one back from what they want. If you love them enough, you'll let them go live the life that's true to themselves.
We don't just live in a society. We're creating a society with every decision we take. And, it's our collective responsibility to create an eco-system where every person can live a life they want to live without the ridiculous norms of following some arbitrary rules.
When you see a successful person, don't just cheer for their achievement, take a moment to appreciate the brave decisions they took all their life to reach there. And then, let you own family members take such brave steps to become the best they want to be.
We're all wired differently and we are here to be our own self. Then, let's not waste the lives of even one more person by forcing them to follow someone else's timeline and pushing them to become someone else.

Before you choose to fully oblige to the "science" or your beliefs in astrology and giving into the social conditioning that you have you marry off your daughter before the societal alarm goes off bombing questions to your face, ask your daughter what she wants, what she needs and what's the life she dreams of.
You have to admit that the times have changed. When everything else has changed from the facilities or even luxuries in your life, why can't this social taboo be changed as well.
Let's get this clear for once and for all.
At all times: then as well as now:
Not every woman or man wanted/wants to get married.
Not every woman wanted/wants to be a mother.
Not every man wanted/wants to be a father.
There could be many who want all that and that's fine.
But, there are many who don't want all that and that should be fine as well.
Instead of pushing your kids into a marriage they don't want, or to bring to the world a child they never wanted and then making that tender life as well as the parents, who never wanted to be parents in the first place, battle each day with no satisfaction and even break down or break apart, which ain't stigma-free either in the society you create and live in.
You're choosing to send your child into war they didn't sign up for.
If you want them to crush their lives and their dreams just because the society, including you, wanted them to fit into the so called cultural constructs and not stand out as different, you can try to ruin the lives of tender one you had once brought to this world promising a happy life ahead.
And if the wisdom passed on to you from the people who lead a "successful" life or your own experience implies that you must force your children to such insane levels, then by all means you're nothing but cruel for turning a blind eye to your child's needs.
Don't force anyone to live a life they don't want.
You are their parents who'd have decided so many things for your children when they were young. But, when the world opens up to them for them to explore and gain experience from, they sure will. And, they'll start taking decisions based on their experiences as well. It's their life. They'll be ever grateful to you for all that you did for them as a parent and they'd take care of you too. But, you must understand that it's not the sole purpose of your childrens' life to obey you. Nor is it your job to sit and decide everything for them. They're here to grow and gradually they'll have their own opinions, passions, purpose and ambitions to work for. Let them decide what they want to do in their life and do it as and when they really want to do it and are ready for it. And, if marriage isn't one of them, understand that it's their choice. Respect, or at least try to understand the individual that your child has grown up into. Understand that there no one right way to live.
Understand that true love is not holding your loved one back from what they want. If you love them enough, you'll let them go live the life that's true to themselves.
We don't just live in a society. We're creating a society with every decision we take. And, it's our collective responsibility to create an eco-system where every person can live a life they want to live without the ridiculous norms of following some arbitrary rules.
When you see a successful person, don't just cheer for their achievement, take a moment to appreciate the brave decisions they took all their life to reach there. And then, let you own family members take such brave steps to become the best they want to be.
We're all wired differently and we are here to be our own self. Then, let's not waste the lives of even one more person by forcing them to follow someone else's timeline and pushing them to become someone else.

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